Why are Borderline Personality Disorder people so good at making people become infatuated with them?

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People with Borderline Personality Disorder seem to have a talent for making people very quickly become infatuated/obsessed with the Borderline (I won't use the word love).

How is it that they have this "talent"?
There are different types of behavior with BPD. There are those who predominently act out (raging) and those who act in (cutting) and there is a continuum with sufferers somewhere on a spectrum - low functioning (prone to drug use and poor societal function, crime, and hospitalization) and high functioning (can hold down a job and "appear" normal to people not close - like family - to the BPD.) Higher functioning BPDs almost universally deny that they have a problem. My opinion of higher functioning BPDs who predominently act out is that they lack a conscience and are self absorbed.

If a BPD is higher functioning and intelligent, they often have the ability to "read people" pretty well. They can also be extremely adept at manipulation. It's very easy to not understand the manipulation, especially when everyone else around (i.e. not family) seems to think well of the BPD. The manipulation and the lack of insight from others can make the non-BPD doubt their own instincts.

At the core of all BPD behavior is fear of abandonment and great difficulty dealing with their feelings.

CONTROL is at the core of effective, manipulative BPDs. It's a sick game, but it gets played by many women. BPD is the most prevalent personality disorder and yet most people have never hear of it. Statistics show that just about everyone interacts with a BPD at work or school and is completely oblivious.  (+ info)

Borderline Personality Disorder: What are the positive and the negative factors?

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I am working on a paper for class. I need to describe the symptoms of Borderline and Histrionic Personality Disorder according to whether they have positive or negative predictive power for diagnosis. How do I divide symptoms that way?
As a BPD sufferer I would kind of like to help you, but your question leaves me a little baffled........  (+ info)

what's the difference between borderline personality disorder and depression?

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I really don't know, but it seems that people with borderline personality disorder are often misdiagnoised initially with depression. Maybe I am wrong though, maybe if you have borderline personality disorder then depression is a part of it????
Simple depression is much more common than Borderline Personality Disorder. The patient may not exhibit all the signs of BPD when the clinician first sees him or her.

BPD is much more complex with extreme fear of abandonment, volatile relationships alternating between idealization and disdain, identity crises and impulsive behavior in addition to mood swings.  (+ info)

How can I handle the borderline personality disorder? My girlfriend has BPD and we seperate during t?

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How can I handle the borderline personality disorder?

My girlfriend has BPD and we seperate during this time. Is there anything i can do to help her get her right mind back. She doesn't love me, doesn't want me and then she comes back around. She wants me and loves me again. Any tips or suggestions on how to handle this situation. I love her enough I want to help.
Dude, save yourself the headache.  (+ info)

What are the chances of Borderline Personality Disorder being inherited from a parent?

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I'm fairly certain that my mother has Borderline Personality Disorder, and she refuses to get help. I've been depressed since I was a small child, and I'm on antidepressants, but I'm afraid of inheriting this disorder. I don't want to have it but if I do, I want to get help because I know what the disorder does to people.
  (+ info)

What is it like to have a borderline personality disorder?

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What is it like to have a borderline personality disorder? How do they act and behave? I'm curious to know because I met this girl who I kinda like, but she told me she is bipolar and borderline. Can anyone enlighten me here?
Mark-

If you've never done anything else for yourself, do this....get as far away as you can. Borderline is a disorder which will pull you into the whirlpool, completely mangle you and spit you back out. You would'nt put your head into a tree chipper, would you? That's precisely what this is. Jess has the disorder, and even she is telling you to run as fast and as far as you can. Simone said: "It does not mean that people with borderline personality traits are doomed to have poor relationships". she is absolutely wrong about that, they are doomed to have horrible relationships. This is a disorder which affects the people intimate with the "sufferer" more than the one with the disease. Treat her as you would a coiled rattlesnake, because that is precisely the situation. I know, been there, done that. I'll never be the same. Want some firsthand accounts? Go check some of the posts at the yahoo group "WelcomeToOz"  (+ info)

How to spot a girl with borderline personality disorder?

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I'm dating alot of girls now and some girls I just find overly emotional and fiery. I want to know if they have anything wrong with them. A friend of mine mentioned some girls as having "borderline personality disorder". I would like to know what are some characteristics these girls display? Tell me some stories if you ever had an experience with them?
Women are emotional creatures. As opposed to men who are logical (or so it's said). Yes, some have personality disorders, and even more create them to have an excuse for their behavior. But men are the same way. All in all, you just need to find a girl thats right for you.

And...so what if they have a personality disorder? If they're not able to manage it with meds or therapy then why even be around them. People in general who are out of control are no fun.  (+ info)

How can I get good help for borderline personality disorder?

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I'm only 16, but I've recognized in myself extreme changes in behavior over the years and nothing fits the description as best as borderline personality disorder. My parents don't understand any mental disorder problems since they're hispanic..(no offense, but a lot of hispanics don't believe in psycholoy). How can I get adequate help? Please no jokes.
Although Borderline Personality Disorder is less well known than bipolar and
schizophrenia it is more common, affecting 2% of adults in the US and accounting
for a whopping 20% of psychiatric hospitalizations in the US. Completed suicide
rates in BPD is an incredible 8-10%. All that having been said, borderline
personality disorder is not a death sentance. There is strong research which
suggests that often symptoms of BPD decrease as the sufferer ages from a
teenager to a young adult and their brain fully develops. With early
intervention, likelyhood of recovery is also increased

With borderline personality disorder it's really hard to find good therapists
because everyone's either scared of the label or isn't experienced enough to
help you. One of the most effective treatments for Borderline personality
disorder is a type of therapy called DBT (Dialectical Behavioral
Therapy). DBT was developed by a psychologist who had borderline her self. She
found in her own recovery, and in treating her patients, that CBT (cognitive
behavioral therapy) was too oriented on change for borderlines, leading them to
feel invalidated and have a high risk of dropping out of treatment. DBT is a
balance of acceptance and change. The tag line is that DBT teaches you to "Build
A Life Worth Living". And two uniquie focuses of DBT include training on
dialectical thinking (seeing both sides to every story) and mindfulness ( living
in the present, concepts are most highly pulled from Zen Buddhism, but are not
at all religious in nature.) It teaches you skills in distress tolerance (which
is crisis survival), interpersonal effectiveness (how to improve your
relationships), mindfulness ( living in the present moment, meditation type
stuff), and emotional regulation (how to prevent yourself from going into crisis
to begin with..basic taking care of yourself kind of stuff). DBT is developed
for TEAMS of clinicians working together, and includes: individual
psychotherapy, group skills training, phone coaching, and consultation team-
which is when the clinicians meet to discuss cases and support each other.
Although consultation team does not directly impact that patient, it is seen as
a manadory component of DBT, and you should seek a DBT group or center, not an
individual DBT Clinician if at all possible.

DBT is very very different than standard psychotherapy, which tends to be a
processing therapy. While in standard therapy you may spend many many sessions
focusing on whats wrong, DBT is constantly redirecting you towards focusing on
solutions. and in absense of concrete solutions, acceptance, so you decrease
suffering.

I think it is important to emphasize that \DBT is not a magical cure, nothing is.
And it can take a lot of perserverence to continue to incorperate skills into
your daily life when you aren't seeing a dramatic increase in mood. Most DBT
outpatient therapies need a time span of 1-2 years in therapy for full benefit.
It is not meant to be a life long treatment, although you could use it that way.
But for someone who is intelligent, and is determined to make the best of what
they have been given DBT is an excellent choice.

If you are interested in doing some work in DBT on your own, I would
suggest the "Dialectical Behavioral Therapy Skills Workbook" its green and is
published by New Harbinger Publishers. Here is a link to their original one,
they also have recently published variations of it, and one of them I know is
for Bulimia.

http://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Skills-Workbook/dp/1572245131\
/ref=pd_sim_b_9

Medication can help treat some struggles relating to BPD, but behavioral therapy
is considered much more effective.  (+ info)

How should a couple cope when one may have borderline personality disorder?

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My wife may have borderline personality disorder, she feels an emotional detachment from everybody around her, including me. She's been physically and psychologically abused as a child. It's also hard for her to make friends as well as keep them. Is there a cure for this? I don't mean like multiple personality disorder either.
Thank you both for answering it makes me feel better now that I know it's a manageable disorder.
I also have Bipolar Disorder, and I understand how hard it is to make and keep friends. There's really not much you can do about the emotional detachment, but the symptoms of personality disorders are lessened with therapy. I go to weekly therapy visits, and take a mood stabilizer, and I've found that I personally need both to be at my highest functioning.
On the medication issue, most people don't like it. I HATE medication, but it makes life so much more bearable. It depends on the person and how severe the disorder is. It usually does take some experimenting to get the right medication, especially if you've never known what it's like to feel "normal". The road to the right meds is rough...having your brain chemicals adjusted sucks but for me it was worth it.
I have a boyfriend who has been there for me since before I was even diagnosed. I'd say the biggest factor in my "recovery" is the stability of having someone there. He reassures me, helps me out with the apartment if I get stuck in a rut, talked me into going back to counseling, and stuff like that. The biggest thing is to have somebody to talk to and to keep you stable. I worry that it's taxing on him, though. I still have episodes, and it gets really hard for both of us sometimes. It's a challenge, but if you're patient and committed and your wife is committed to working towards her own wellness then it's do-able.
I strongly recomend at least counseling to help your wife understand what she's going through, or at least to try it. It can be expensive, but there are alternatives. I get it from my college for free, and some communies have free support groups.  (+ info)

Is it possible for a person with Borderline Personality Disorder to have a functioning relationship?

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I have recently been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I find it hard to stay in a relationship for very long as I have severe abandonment issues which cause me to be very clingy. It becomes a sort of 'I hate you but please don't leave me' relationship. I have a new boyfriend and I like him a lot but I'm scared I'm going to lose him. I was wondering if anyone who has BPD or knows of someone with BPD that has had a functioning relationship?
I am under the care of a health professional and I will be starting Dialectical Behavioural Therapy in the New Year
It depends. There are many variations of BPD.

The fact that you accept you have BPD makes it highly more likely that you can work your way to a functional and consistent relationship, but it will take therapy, and a very understanding partner.

I was in a nearly 9 year marriage with a severe BPD, who had issues with abandonment, trust, self-esteem, etc., but the big barrier was that she did not accept that there was anything wrong with her. That's why BPDs are so hard to treat, because their self-esteem is often so low that they can't accept there's a problem with them, because that's an attack on what little self-esteem they have left.

As I said, the fact that you acknowledge you have issues that could be a problem puts you way ahead of the pack. Everyone has issues of some kind, but BPD issues usually keep BPDs from accepting help.

So, yes, if you are willing to work on it, you can get there. Hope for the best and keep trying.  (+ info)

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