Why do we have to go through separation anxiety?

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When I find myself attach to people it becomes hard for me to let go, and even though I know I have to let go I always go through anxiety attacks. Why is it so hard to just let go? What makes us so attach to others?
When it persists into late adolescence/early adulthood, excessive fear of abandonment and/or desperate attempts to avoid it can be symptomatic of Cluster B (i.e., Borderline Personality Disorder) or Cluster C (i.e., Dependent Personality Disorder) types of personality disorders.  (+ info)

Consoling a baby with separation anxiety?

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I have an 11 month old I take care of, and she has horrible separation anxiety. My daughter went through this, but I was never on the receiving end. I've tried everything I can possibly think of to calm this child, but she is a fighter and refuses to do anything but scream her head off. I don't want to call the mother out of work, as I absolutely hated being called out, but I also don't want to listen to constant screaming. Anyone have any suggestions?
Mine also had this. It lasted about 5 - 6 weeks and then was over just as quick as it started. We just persevered until it was over.

Hopefully it will be same for you.  (+ info)

Can Separation anxiety ever happen in adults?

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It seems that whenever I am left alone. I develop intense anxiety and sometimes panic. Any help would be appreciated.
** Learn to relax - when you start feeling anxious - take deep slow breaths and read a book or do a puzzle to take your mind of it - there are different types of natural / herbal medicines you can get from the health shop to help you calm down. Good luck  (+ info)

Separation anxiety, is what all the babies have to face? Around what ages?

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I am a stay-at-home mom. I don't have close friends or relatives around. My baby never had a sitter. What should I do to minimize an anxiety my baby may have to go through. When will most babies outgrow it? Thanks.
There are two ages when a child might go through separation anxiety, the first around 9 months the second around 18 months. Not all babies go through it, the first time it has to do with both falling in love with a caregiver and understanding the concept of permanence, at 18 months its more to do with falling in love with a provider and not being able to endure being separated.

So, to teach object permanence play peek-a-boo and hide toys under blankets and lift the blanket up. To minimize the love, would you want to? Really, separation anxiety is most about falling so in love, usually with one's mom, that you can't bear to be apart. Over time with separation and reuniting the baby will understand that being apart is a temporary state and they are okay. It takes a month or so, and unless they are traumatized, you won't have to deal with it again.

Oh yeah, when you do leave your child with a sitter, when you leave say good bye, don't sneak away when they're distracted - that is more traumatizing then saying good bye. And even though the baby will be crying, as soon as you are gone, they'll get over it and be okay even if they cry when they see you again. No, I'm not joking, as soon as you are really gone they quiet down and are okay.  (+ info)

How do you get a 4y.o. over night time separation anxiety?

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My 4 y.o. daughter has a case of separation anxiety when it is her bed time. We put her to bed and she cries, saying that she wants one of us with her in her room. We used to let her fall asleep in the Lilving Room and then carry her to bed, but she is getting to heavy and old for that. she wakes up in the night still and prefers to fall asleep next to mommy and is fine as long as she can touch mommy. how can we get her over her anxiety and get her to go to bed without the drama and stay asleep throught the night in her own room?
unless she is really tired, she is find during the day when she goes to school or with a family member.
I JUST went through this with my son. I think we may have found the solution, but its still an experiment in progress. We printed out a nice calender for the month and bought stickers he likes for the fridge. For every night he sleeps by himself he gets a sticker, for every 5 in a row he gets to pick out a toy at the store. (we still lay down with him to go to sleep) but after a month of sleeping all night, he understands we are moving to sleep all night alone AND going to bed alone.  (+ info)

Is my baby experiencing separation anxiety?

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My 7 month old slept very well through the night until we went on holidays for a week and left him with his grandparents. He had no problems while with them but since coming home, he wakes up once during the night (around 1:00 or 2:00) and then wakes very early in the morning (around 5:00) when he used to wake around 8:00. Has anyone had experience with this? Could it simply be a growth spurt or am I dealing with a separation anxiety? Any help would be great!
  (+ info)

Separation Anxiety- How do you cope when you're going back to work and leave baby with someone else?

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It makes me sad thinking going back to work and leaving my baby to strangers like this old lady that my mother in law knows. Well I havent met her yet. I cannot think of that day that I have to leave my baby and I will for sure cry all day at work. Tell me, how should I get over this feeling or at least cope up?
Dear Phoenix,

Your feeling of anxiety and sadness are understandable and very natural. I went through those as well. Since some of us have no choice, and have to contribute partially (or completly) financially to run a house (and now raise a baby), its best to acknowledge that such feeling are natural, and to also not feel guilty (since what you are doing is for the betterement of your family which now also includes your baby). I took a couple of steps to make this transition a bit easier for me and my baby, and would be glad to share those tips with you. If you like these, perhaps, you could do the same:

1) A week before starting work, it may make sense, to have the babysitter come over for a few hours everyday. That way, you and your baby will know the sitter. If you are planning on dropping your baby off at her place, ask her if she is agreeable to having you and the baby stop by a few times a week before you start. Make your case strong by telling her that your objective is to spend some time with her in your baba's presence, so that she can bond with your child and you can share useful tips about when/how she eats/sleeps etc.

2) Since your mother-in-law knows this lady well (if you are on good terms with your mother-in-law), request her to stop by a few times once you leave your baby alone with the sitter, and then call your mum-in law to check how your baby was doing

3) Be a bit vague about pick-up time the first week (or if need be the first month), if its not possible to stop-by unannounced, perhaps, you can pick up your baby earlier than usual, so that you can see how she's actually adjusting

4) Call at least once every day and speak with the sitter to check how your baby is doing. You may not want to continue doing this once you and your baby are beginning to be comfortable about the situation

5) An IMPORTANT TIP to remember (and this was what my mother-in-law told me and I very much appreciate it)...At no point, should you show your anger or be impolite to the baby sittter. If there is something that she did, and you are not happy with her, please just say it like an adult tell her that what she does is not wrong, but due to xxx reason we do this same thing this way and you would really appreciate if she also does that thing in the same way to be consistent. I did that, and my baby sitter was always good to my son. We are all normal human beings and want to love our work, we all make mistakes, and there will be times when she might too, if its not serious (which in all likelihood it would not be), please firmly and politely address the issue.

Good luck transitioning. Its tough at first but within a month or so, it gets better. It may get better even earlier, who knows, when you see your baby happy with the sitter :-)  (+ info)

At what age do babies start getting separation anxiety?

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I have a 4 month old and he's happy with anyone that holds him, some babies this age cry if they don't recognize the person.
Emma never went through it until about 7 months....even then I don't know if I would have technically called it seperation anxiety or simple frustration. She was not yet crawling and could not follow me. As soon as she was able to crawl well, she just went where I went if she wanted to. If she didn't then she didn't. Now at 12 months she is kinda showing signs again. She is going through an "I want more cuddles phase."  (+ info)

What age does separation anxiety improve?

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My son is nine months old and just wants to be held all the time. Even if i put him down and stay in the room he screams until i pick him up and if i dare leave the room he gets himself into such a state! It is driving me crazy as nothing is getting done around the house and i am finding him exhausting.
He isn't crawling yet-maybe it will be better when he can as he can follow me around the house!
My son started with this around 9 months too. He is crawling now but it hasnt eased up at all. It just means now they can FOLLOW you and whinge at you to pick them up. It depends on the child as to the degree and length of time. My son is 12 months and it doesnt seem to be abating at this stage. I just try and get on with the things that I have to do without him (eg toilet and shower) but the rest I just try and spend as much time with him as possible. I am able to block his noise out a little more now but I still have to clench my teeth sometimes. Understand though that he just loves you and doesnt want you to go away. Until he learns that you will come back it will continue. I have also learnt not to worry about the housework so much and just concentrate on him. I can get the house sorted during his naps or at night time. They are so cute though arent they? Little snuggly wugglie little baby bears.  (+ info)

Is 4mnths too young to show separation anxiety and how long will it last?

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My 4mnth old boy has very suddenly started crying when he is handed to my mother! The thing is, she is the person he's spent most time with other than me and my husband. She's also the only person other than us who's looked after him (only for a few hours at a time).... would he be associating her with me leaving? I thought he was too young for a phase like this and though it came on at 8nmths or older? Any ideas/tips?
my daughter is 9months now but at 4months she didn't want to never leave my side  (+ info)

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